I have been an amateur linguist for years. I find human language fascinating for many reasons. One particular thing that I have become more aware of in my own use of language is how many different ways there are to say essentially the same thing. I use the word essentially very intentionally here, because our choice of one word or phrase over another does matter and no two options mean exactly the same thing.
For example, most people agree that if I have a couple oranges, it means I have two oranges. So why do both words exist? There are times when a couple seems more appropriate than two because it conveys a less exact sense of the count. We’re thinking that its about two, probably two, but if its one or three, that’s okay. If we are paying for them, we’ll tell the fruit vendor we want two, not a couple.
So what does this have to do with freedom? Let’s look at the difference between the words “busy” and “full”. As in the response to “How was your weekend?” You could say “It was busy.” or “It was full.” For me, “busy” has a slightly negative connotation, like you regret being “busy”. It also conveys a sense that you don’t have control. Being “busy” is something that is thrust upon you, not something you choose.
On the other hand, “full” makes it sound like you are intentional about the fullness. Like you tried to squeeze out every ounce of benefit from the time you had. It says that you are responsible for your own schedule. It makes it sound like you are blessed with full life, rather than cursed with a busy life.
Or how about the difference between “have to” and “get to”? It is true that I have to get up for my corporate job every morning, but I don’t have to go to my son’s baseball game.
What about language that labels intent? The other day someone told me I was being “used”. I had two problems with this. First, I make my own choices and in this case, it was definitely my decision to do something or not. Second, the third person had merely asked me to do something for them, something they considered an opportunity for mutual benefit. To say they were trying to use me was to imply some kind of selfish intent on their part.
My friend was just trying to suggest that I already had enough responsibility and should not take on a new one. In the end, I agreed. However, I called her out on her choice of words. Even though it was subtle, it implied something that was not necessarily there and gave a negative connotation to something that did not deserve one.
These observations about language might be too nuanced for some, but for me, they are meaningful. I am very aware of letting negative, freedom stealing language creep into my everyday speech. Not only that, but by intentionally choosing better words, I am emphasizing my freedom and mindfulness to myself and others.
What about you?
1) Try replacing the word busy with full for a few weeks. How does it feel? (If your schedule really is busy and not full, then you should work on that too!)
2) What is another word you use too frequently or hear others use that could be replaced with something more positive?
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